Its Good To Be LOST

Disclaimer

Jake Green — Wed, 18 May 2011 16:55:31 +0000

I feel I must confess something. I am no expert on any of the subjects that I discuss here, especially relationships. When I’m not swearing off women for months at a time, I’m awkwardly stumbling through each phase of the dating process. So please, don’t mistake what I say for absolute truth. I only take what I’ve learned from my own relationships and share them, hoping that it might help someone avoid destroying something that took a long time to create. It’s a grueling, horrifying, nerve-racking, butterflies in the pit of your stomach, wonderfully exciting thing to grow in a relationship with someone. There’s nothing quite like it, which is probably why ninety percent of what I write is on that topic. You invest your heart and soul in someone and just hope for the best. Yes, there are things you can do to improve your odds of a successful dating experience, but, in the end, it boils down to the fact that their are two of you, and both have to agree upon the route they want to take. It’s hard enough for me to figure out my path when I’m by myself, let alone coordinating that with anther person’s goals and dreams. And that’s just the big stuff. I am a man of routine, I like to come home after work (or school), eat an unhealthy meal, watch a little TV (or a lot, whateverrr) and then be disturbed by the crazy people always floating around outside my door. Diverging from this routine used to annoy me to no end, but those crazy people outside my room ended up being some of my best friends and well worth the effort it took to change my mindset. Not that I’m saying it wasn’t hard, it definitely was, and I’m sure that my mood reflected that from time to time. This may sound trivial when considering the big picture, but life is lived hour by hour and we can become very attached to those things that make up our days.

I’ve strayed from my previous topic. Basically what I’m saying is that if you go into a relationship with the intent of staying the same and keeping your life the way it is, you won’t be in that relationship for very long. It changes you, hopefully for the better, and you’ll never be quite the same person that you were. Scary? Yes. A little sad? Possibly. But the reward is too great to be scared of the possibility of failure. Life is just a series of attempts to feel alive, and if you don’t put yourself on the line every once in a while, you’re not really living.

Can’t Stop Believing

Jake Green — Mon, 16 May 2011 05:37:39 +0000

Is it possible to fall out of love? Or is it just that people stop trying? It seems today that people have forgotten the fact that love is hard work. It’s constantly changing and evolving into something new. People change through the course of their lives, so it makes sense that those around them would have to change the way they love. Growing together like this can be a frustrating process, but a very fruitful one as well. The relationship that comes out the other side in one piece, will be stronger and more resilient in the future. That’s not to say that you can be more lackadaisical in future, for the moment that you conscientiously decide to relax in a relationship will be a moment that you will live to regret. It will only lead to one of three places 1. The end of the relationship. 2. A place filled with resentment and frustration from constantly growing apart. 3. an apology for taking the relationship for granted. The latter being the most beneficial and rewarding, it is also the most humbling (at least for me, my pride tends to get in the way). In any case, I would say that it is not possible to fall out of love, but merely the refusal, incompetency or cowardice to persevere through the worst of times and fully immerse ones heart and soul in the relationship that will ultimately lead to its demise.

Changing of the Tides

Jake Green — Sat, 14 May 2011 07:29:44 +0000

What is it about the beach at night that makes me ponder every detail of my life down to the very essence of my existence? The combination of the rhythmic crashing of the waves and the soft, hazy glow of the moon have a mystical hold on my heart-strings, revealing all the things that I would normally keep to myself. It’s a feeling that I want to chase. I really dislike opening up to people, I would rather deflect with a joke or a sarcastic comment, both of which come very easily to me as my friends know. I don’t know what I’m afraid of if I do open up. Maybe it’s the thought that if I really said everything that was on my mind I would lose something in some of the relationships I have built over the years (or months). But if you can’t be completely and utterly honest with someone who you call your friend, is that relationship a lie? Is it just a vessel to get you through a certain time in your life so you don’t go crazy with loneliness? Or is holding back part of what makes relationships work? It always amazes me to see the depth and intricacies of friendship, it’s a constant struggle to keep things on an even keel. Vulnerability is a strange thing, possibly my greatest fear, but I think that it may be the key to any relationship. If you’re willing to venture out into the unknown for someone on a daily basis, then you’ve done your part. Otherwise you’re just coasting, living a shell of a life with no real personal connection, which is how I sometimes feel. I do have some of the best friends that life can offer, though, so I must be doing something right. I guess my point is this, invest the entirety of your being into your relationships, because, in the end, everything else is petty in comparison.

On a side note, I am going to try out the “Yes Man” living style once again, with the following rules:

I will say yes to everything unless:

1. It will cost me too much money

2. It could endanger my safety or the safety of others

3. It breaks my moral code

4. It puts my schoolwork in jeopardy

That’s all for now. Instead of me telling you that I will post once a week, I am going to post whenever I feel like it. It takes the pressure off of me and makes this fun, rather than a drain on my mental energy.

4 weeks left!

Jake Green — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 04:45:27 +0000

We are well in to the first quarter here at SCAD, having only 17 class days left before Thanksgiving break. In the short time that I’ve been here, I have already made some very close friends and am completely happy with the way this new chapter in my life is unfolding. It appears that I made the right decision by coming here. I find it strange, however, that even though you can weigh all of the pros and cons of a certain situation, comparing them to mistakes in the past, and deciding that it is definitely the right thing to do, that that choice that you make can actually be the wrong one. This baffles me, it feels as though it is just a coin flip and the real test is whether or not you can be happy with how you came to that decision. Fortunately for me, I can be happy with both the process of making the decision and the final outcome. I’ve been truly blessed with a good group of friends, who I will now name (mostly due to one nagging me to put her in here). First off Kev, I couldn’t have asked for a better roommate in the vast array of crazy here at SCAD, thank goodness I landed with a normal, grounded person who shares my interests. Next come the girls, AMBER (is that good with you?), Kyrah and Lauren have let me invade their lives and be a constant nuisance in their room. Not to mention the fact that Kyrah provides hours of entertainment by just watching her spin like a top around the room. Erica has also been fantastic, by letting me use her as my good luck charm during the Ranger games, which seems to have worked quite well. We also had an extremely fun-filled evening singing karaoke and embarrassing ourselves with James Reagan and Mikka. Overall it has been wonderful being here, I’m loving every minute of it and can not wait till I shoot my film next week, after all, that’s what I came here to do. I miss and love you all and can’t wait to see you when I (or you) get back to Dallas.

One last thing, my friend from KSU recently started a blog and wants me to advertise for him, so here’s the link…

everyguyyousee.wordpress.com

Days Go By

Jake Green — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 22:45:28 +0000

I would say that I have just been too busy to put up another post, but that would be lying. I have had loads of free time, which I have decided to spend one of three ways: sleeping, writing or watching tv. With all of the homework and writing that I have done, it leaves very little energy in reserve to dig down and spill the abundance of feelings and emotions wriggling around just below my rather calm exterior. Not to mention the fact that I fought off the flu earlier this week and am currently in a heated battle with a very annoying cold.

Just as a general update, school is going quite well, making straight A’s at the moment, although I’m only one test in to most of the classes. My teachers are ok, except for the film teacher, who doesn’t seem to grasp the concept of teaching, having spent most of his life actually working in the industry. I played my first intramural flag football game this past weekend, catching two tds, throwing two tds, catching two 2 point conversions and throwing one in a 56-24 victory, which was fantastic.

As of right now, I am happy and looking forward to the rest of the quarter, which is passing by very rapidly. I hope everyone is doing well in their respective cities and can not wait to see y’all at either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I can promise you that there will not be a post from me this week, due to the fact that I am riding down to Tampa Bay for game five of the Rangers and also because James Reagan is coming to Savannah this weekend! Shaping up to be a great week!

Easy Going

Jake Green — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 16:32:29 +0000

After a thoroughly enjoyable week one, Monday is once again around the corner. It would appear that I actually have the easier teachers, at least easier than my roommate’s and most of my friends’ here. While they had huge projects and assignments due on Monday, I have a few chapters of reading, and nothing else, which is fantastic. It would seem that the Lord is granting me a stress free transition back into the academic world. I realize, however, that I shouldn’t expect this type of week to be a regular thing, after all, each class is trying to cram a semester’s worth of material into half that time. This is just an intermediate post, when I finally have access to the internet in my room, I’ll post more often and on subject matters with a little more substance. As for now, I have a date with 53 men in white and blue uniforms, so I must go. GO COWBOYS!!!

What a difference a day makes…

Jake Green — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 01:26:27 +0000

Day one is over and, after a night of tossing and turning, I am extremely thankful for that. It was one of those nights where all I could think about was what was awaiting me in my classrooms. Would I immediately regret my decision, all at once being reminded of why I quit to begin with? Would I make a complete fool out of myself by showing up in the wrong classroom and making that long, lonely walk to where I was supposed to be? I am thrilled to say that neither of these events occurred and the entire day went smoothly. Both of my teachers are fantastic, easy going and very knowledgeable about there respective specialties. I was also shocked to discover that I was the most experienced writer in my film class, who would have believed that?

Tonight I reviewed what it is going to take in order for me to graduate. I chose three academic plans, the first of which is getting a BFA in Dramatic Writing, graduating in just over two years. The second is getting a BFA in Dramatic Writing and a BFA in Film and Television, which would put me at three years. And finally the third, the longest reach of the three, would be to get an MFA in Dramatic Writing and a BFA in Film and Television, keeping me in Savannah for five years, possibly a little more. I would love to hear any thoughts y’all have, anything would be helpful. As of this moment I’m leaning towards the double BFAs but the third option is also very tempting.

An interesting truth I have come to realize over the past few days is that of the importance, nay, the necessity of close personal relationships. When I say “close” I mean it in a geographical way. There is only so much that a friend can do for you over the phone or on video chat, and even though you each know what the other is going through and their general day to day schedule, nothing can replace actually being there with them. I actually find this to be a little strange, on paper it would seem that both relationships are exactly the same, you both share feelings, both express new ideas to help the other, you can literally be talking to each other within seconds of getting that urge to share a funny story from that day. But there is just something about the idea of being able to reach out and physical comfort someone, letting them know that you’re not only there for them emotionally and spiritually but also physically. Even if that physical expression is never actually performed, the knowledge that it would be there, just in case, is what reassures that person. Don’t take this to mean that long distance friendships are of less value than close ones, because in times of real crisis, no matter how good of friends you are with the person next to you, you are always going to call the people that are closest to your heart. As for my closest friends, well, you know if you’re on that list or not, and I thank God for each of you every single day for always being there for me when I needed it most.

Coastal Living

Jake Green — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 04:35:25 +0000

As I entered the city of Savannah I was smacked in the face by a truth that I already knew but had somehow refused to recognize, it’s humid. However that trivial matter was quickly overcome by a motorcycle ride around the city, exploring this beautiful town with a crisp, salty breeze wisping by me. I am already starting to feel at home here. After waiting for so many months it’s a relief to finally arrive, and my arrival has also quelled some of my anxiety and fear of what the next week might have in store, more specifically, the people I’ll be meeting. I don’t know what I expected, there’s not a huge difference between most cities in my opinion, but just riding through downtown Savannah gave me the sense that the people here are relxed and easy-going. Everything seemed so open, like it was a community rather than individuals living in their own little worlds. I have a feeling that it’ll be a fun place to live.

Which brings me to my next thought, I will actually be living here for the next few years. What is it about finally getting to your destination that makes it set in that things are changing? It seems to me that the six months leading up to it, where all I did was think about moving, would make everything real, but for some reason that never happens, at least not to me. Maybe it’s a little bit of denial. I hate letting go of some of my routines, mainly seeing my friends in Dallas. So I guess that I hold on to the security of those routines until I am forced to let them go, which, by my calculations, is some time around now. Therefore I must move on to the beginning of new routines, new comfort zones where I can once again feel like everything is the way it should be, at least for a little while.

Aaaand scene.

Jake Green — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 07:56:56 +0000

With the arrival of what appears to be a new and exciting adventure in my life, I thought I would try something new, blogging my life rather than my insane LOST theories. You may notice that I am not changing the name of the blog, the reasons for which are 1. I love the name of it and 2. I thought it an appropriate slogan for life in general. For the last three or four years I have been lost, in more ways than one and often in many ways at one time. Now that I have found what I hope to be my “calling”, a whole new bag of issues has popped up mostly dealing with how to handle college now that I’m back. I know that each day it’ll get a little easier and I’ll develop routines and opportunities, which will once again lead to more issues. What I have come to realize from this repeating process is that I am constantly lost, sometimes it’s a little more than others, but it is the manner in which I handle these problems that allows me to grow as a person. So instead of being stifled by my fear of what a problem might entail I am going to face it (with a little help from above) head on and embrace every aspect of its consequences.

I’ll go ahead and address the first one of my problems right now, I apologize if this is a little lengthy. As a potential writer, I feel that in order for my words to ring true with my audience, they must be not only be eloquent but they must come from the heart. In other words, you can’t fake what you’re writing, you have to feel the character’s pain and understand what they are going through in order to know how they would act/react/speak and so on. For those of you who knew me in high school, I was an over-emotional little child, blowing things out of proportion, putting too much stock in things that did not matter and most of all weeping at an alarming rate. This carried on into some of my post-high school life but was effectively ended sometime around the beginning of 2007. After this I seemed to have grown a little cold towards everyone. Don’t get me wrong, I still had my moments when I would demonstrate my feelings, whether good or bad, but most of the time no more than a short paragraph at the most. What I need to find is a middle ground, where I can express myself with out being a whiny little girl, and therefore am now attempting to establish a foothold in that happy medium. I may never be able to consistently get my feelings into coherent sentences, but it’s the effort that counts, right? And that’s also what my writing will be for, for it’s said that what you right about a subject says as much about that subject as it does yourself.

Before I go, I would like to mention a few people that have pushed me in the direction that led me to this point. First and foremost, my parents and Matthew. I don’t say it enough, as was suggested in the paragraph above, but I love you and thank you for everything you’ve done for me, especially surprising me with the gift of tuition, even though I’m 23. Second, the Turner’s, for giving me a home away from home (six blocks to be exact). No one could ask for friends more loving and caring than the four of you and I love ya’ll very much. Third, I have to single out Ellie because without your suggestion that I look at SCAD, I would still be abusing the cars of customers that didn’t tip. Thanks sweet Ellie.

I am hoping to continue this blog as I move forward, updating it once a weekish, although knowing me it’ll probably die out within the month. Follow along if you would like, I’m not expecting any of ya’ll to read about my boring day to day, I just thought it would be a good outlet for everything that goes on in my head.